Giving Back

You know, I have gotten so much out of the local DBSA Support Group meetings I attend every Monday night, but sometimes being able to give back can also help as you cope with this thing called Bipolar.

My sister, who lives out of town, called me early one day last week on her way to work.

"Melody you HAVE to go out today and get this book I'm reading. I noticed it last night on a display table of recently released books (she works part time at Barnes and Nobles) so I bought it and brought it home. I was exhausted last night, but I thought I'd read a few pages before I fell asleep. I couldn't put it down. It's called "Welcome to the Jungle...Everything you ever wanted to know about Bipolar, but were too freaked out to ask." The author was diagnosed at 19 and she's probably in her early twenties now. Anyway, it is written for young adults who are newly diagnosed, it's the book she says she wished someone would have handed her when she was newly diagnosed. I really like the way she writes about this Melody, and I think Josh has GOT to read it."

So I stopped at every bookstore I came across and a few I went out of my way to go to, that day, but the book had flown off all the shelves. (My sister said that when she went to work a few days later, the nine copies that were on the display table when she bought hers were gone.) It's interesting that a book about Bipolar would fly off the shelves, but that seems to be what happened in all the bookstores around me.

Anyway, I ordered three copies of the book and went home and downloaded it onto my Kindle. It took me about two hours to read it that day, and my sister was right, Josh NEEDED to read this book.

It's written by Hilary Smith and it is a gem of a book. First of all, it covers EVERYTHING about this disorder, and it's important to note that it covers things a young adult would be interested in knowing about, in addition to the more practical things. Basically she says, -Yes, it totally sucks that you have this horrible disorder that has no cure, and you're going to have to manage it the rest of your life, but you get to choose how you let if effect your life. You can fight against it, or you an learn to manage it. You can let it destroy your life, or you can have a great life in spite of it.-

I think if I were Josh's age, this book would be indispensable, but I also think that anyone who is parenting a Bipolar child should read this book. It helps you understand their mindset, the REAL things that are going through their minds at a time like this.

The book is funny and hip, written in a vernacular that would appeal to this age group. A few of the reviews of the book on Amazon mentioned that the book had some curse words, and yes there are a few, even the 'biggies' appear here and there. I cuss like a sailor, so that doesn't bother me, but I could see that it might offend others. This book is valuable enough in its content to be worth getting over that little thing though, if you're inclined to be offended by cussing.

And Hilary doesn't seem to be afraid to mention the word 'crazy', a word many people whose lives are affected by Bipolar tend to tip toe around. The fact of the matter is that Mania? With delusions? Ummmm, call it what you want, but it sure looked crazy to me, and I found it refreshing that she writes about it in the way she does. And because she's Bipolar, she can get away with it.

But mostly, I felt this book would be so empowering to someone in Josh's shoes.

I picked up my three copies the other day and gave one to Josh, then last night I took the other two to the DBSA Support Group Meeting to leave in their Lending Library. Last week during announcements, I mentioned this book and let everyone know that I had ordered two copies for the group.

There are several young people who attend our meetings and I hope that they take the time to read this book because I think it has such a powerful message. The group leader told me that she had downloaded it on her Kindle after I mentioned it last week and that she was looking forward to reading it and having her daughter read it.

I really wanted Josh to read it, but he had been so resistant to even discussing any of this that I wasn't sure how to GET him to read it. I have a long time online friend who has been very supportive since Josh's diagnosis. He suggested that I pay Josh to read it, so that's what I did. At this point Josh has read about half the book. When I gave it to him, he was still deeply in denial, but agreed to read it, but he was also in a slow thinking, foggy place and he's found it hard to process anything; reading being difficult for him.

I know he's gotten a lot out of the book though, because once he started reading it last week, he began asking questions about things he's said in the past that were delusional, etc. His speech became peppered with some of the things Hilary says in the book, and for the FIRST time, he began his sentences with things like, "Since I'm Bipolar" or "Now that I have Bipolar".

That is HUGE, and I really think that even though he hasn't finished the book yet (and not gotten paid!), he's already gotten a lot out of it. I have a feeling that this is a book he will turn to often for years (hopefully when he's considering doing something boneheaded, like going off meds or dropping acid).

One of the things he asked me last week was whether or not he is going to have to change his career plans. He has struggled trying to decide what course of study to follow in college and over the last month or two, he seems to have settled into Psychology.

"Mom, now that I have Bipolar, am I even going to be able to get licensed as a therapist?"

"Gosh honey, I don't know. Let's see if we can find some information about that on the internet."

None of our searches turned up any information, (I SO suck at Google searches!) so I said, "I know! We'll email Peter (Josh's therapist) and ask him."

Peter responded immediately, "Josh can be almost anything he wants to be in the Mental Health field."

So this book has clearly already had an impact on Josh and he hasn't even finished it yet. I have a feeling that I've left a couple of real treasures in the DBSA Lending Library. Treasures that will hopefully have a positive impact on many lives for years to come.

And that my friends makes me feel a gazillion times better, because sometimes, when life hands you something really shitty to deal with, the best thing you can do for yourself, is to reach outside your pain and suffering and offer a hand to someone else.