Josh continues to do well, but I'll tell you that I still find myself occasionally waiting for the other shoe to fall, so to speak.
He and his girlfriend are moving into a new apartment together next weekend. He has been a little stressed by this, hoping that he's not making a mistake.
We've had many talks where I've tried to inform him of the realities of living with someone else. "The first year will be a little more difficult than you might imagine, it takes time to adjust to living with someone else. Just keep in mind always how much you love her and don't let the little things get to you."
I worry that this major life change will cause him enough stress to cycle. I worry that we won't get through April without a cycle. I worry, I worry, I worry.
I let go of my anxiety and remind myself how far Josh has come and what he's had to overcome to get here. I know that he is mindful of his mood and his sleep. He mentioned to me one day a few months ago that he thought maybe he'd been "a little manic" the prior evening.
"I realized I was chattering away, but, I'd had trouble sleeping the night before and so I got myself to bed and I've been fine since then."
I'd love to pull his girlfriend aside and let her know the things she should watch out for, but that's not my place. Maybe Josh has told her enough that she has an idea what is possible, or maybe she's taken it upon herself to acquire some knowledge on the subject?
All I know for sure is how proud I am of him. He has matured so much and taken control of his life, which means that it's easier for me to let go of that need to TRY to control a situation that is largely out of my control anyway.
We live. We learn.