A LONG Time Coming

I don't intend to go into all the gory details here, I'll save that for my private blog, but Josh moved out tonight.

Since he failed to do his weekly housecleaning last week, I'd told him he would be moving out at the beginning of the year. He has been about as difficult and disrespectful as he could possibly be as a result.

He was sullen and snide on Thanksgiving. He's been shitty and pissy every single day. Last night I told him that if his attitude didn't improve 100%, he'd wouldn't make it in my house till the end of the year.

And then this morning I opened the refrigerator and noticed that the remainder of the beer I'd bought for Thanksgiving was gone.

He was asleep at the time (6 am) and when he woke up at (5 pm) I asked him if he'd drank the beer and he said he had.

"We've talked about this before Josh, you KNOW that is not allowed."

"What do you expect, under the circumstances?"

"Are you telling me that you don't intend to follow the rules?"

"Why should I? What's in it for me?"

We argued and I finally told him to go pack the things he'd need right away and leave tonight.

"I'll pack up the rest of your stuff and move it into storage until you need it, and you need to understand something Josh, this isn't the way *I* want it to be, I love you, but I refuse to continue to provide for all of your needs when what I receive in return is disrespect. I'm changing the garage code and the locks, you're not getting back in this house unless I'm home."

At one point, as I was standing halfway inside his bedroom door he started yelling at me to get out of his room, and as I was trying to talk to him, he repeatedly kicked his door, which bashed into my hip, as he yelled, "Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!"

I reminded him that it isn't *his* room, it's a room in *MY* house that I've allowed him to use and that he's no longer welcome to use it.

I called his father and told him the situation and he said he'd call Josh and tell him to come and stay there. Josh wouldn't answer his father's calls though.

As Josh packed, he became nicer than he's been the last few weeks and when he was ready to go I hugged him. At first he balked, but then he put his arms around me and gave me a hug.

"I love you honey, and I get that you don't believe that now, but I think it's time for you to learn what it means to be a grown man. I think you need to talk to you dad and consider staying there for the short term, just a month or two so you can regroup and decide how you want the rest of your life to play out."

"That's not gonna happen, I'm not living in that hellhole."

"Well, your options are somewhat limited, but I know you'll figure out what to do."

And he left.

His father called me about an hour later and said Josh had finally answered his call and said he was chillin' with a friend, but agreed to go to his Dad's when he was done. My ex called back a little later and said that Josh was there.

I've cried off and on since he left, but I feel better that he's at his Dad's and I've spent the hours since he left walking around my house realizing that my home is finally child free.

For the first time in 26 years.

It's a strange feeling.

What happened tonight is what needed to happen, because I think Josh's older brother has been right all along; that Josh is NEVER going to get it while living coddled under my roof.

When I called my older son and told him that I sent his brother on his way, he said, "It's about fucking time. Congratulations!"

This would be MUCH harder to take were Josh out there in the unknown, but I know where he is and in spite of the fact that his father has dropped the ball badly as the boys were being raised, he related to both of our boys better once they reached their teens. He stands a much better chance of getting Josh to see the light than I do and I hope he's able to get the kid on the right path.

My only fear at this point is that the stress that Josh is under will send him one way or other on the Bipolar pole.

Oh, did I mention that he gave two weeks notice at his job last night and then slept through his shift today? When he woke up tonight, he called them and told them he wouldn't be back.

So jobless and homeless in one fell swoop, only he's not really homeless, he's just in a much more unappealing home.